Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
