The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
