Pants 0. Shit 1.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
