please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
