id be glad to
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Randomize
