I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
