If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
