We need to rekindle our bromance
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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