Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Too much gin, very little bucket
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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