Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
