Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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