It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
