Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
