dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
