pedialite and red bull = repair kit
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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