Three words: puerto rican gang bang
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
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