I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Randomize
