I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
