I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
