He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
