Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
