nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
