I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
