after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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