I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Randomize
