doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
