Your dad touched me again.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
