12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Randomize
