so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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