You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Randomize
