Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
