if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
