Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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