wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i think i have two assholes
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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