I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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