you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
