READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
