If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
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