and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
