My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
