she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
