I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
