We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Randomize
