Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Nicole vs. Life
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
