So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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