don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
