I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
