oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
