He is an equal opportunity slut.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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