remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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