I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
it was like having sex with a tree stump
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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