She's JV to your varsity
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
